Plan B is offically in effect.. I'm open to flirting and feeling wanted again, feeling beautiful and feeling powerful. His glow has faded for me. Angry thoughts..
He will never admit he's wrong and I desire peace, I can't function with tension around me.. so of coarse I will be the first to give in, give me, the first to call back and of coarse always the first and sometimes the only one to appoligize.
I will continue to be me. He will continue to win the battles if that's what he chooses. If pride is that important. But he will lose the war because I know myself and my feelings will fade with this kind of treatment.. I will eventually leave. Already I'm playing it safe. Making a back-up plan so that next time the door isn't as far away. I can't leave myself trapped like this again.
Plan B- I will find my power again. I will live for me first. I will apply for these working papers and then fly back to New York to recharge. Comeback and find a job. I will be making money here and there is my door.. Always there for me. Patiently waiting for me if I ever need to use it..
It's sad that is boils down to money but that is what is trapping me here now.. Otherwise I could already be gone.. to a hotel, anywhere but here.. doing anything except nothing.
You will never trap me. You will never own me. To try is a waste of energy and there are plenty of other "nice" guys.. Your photo doesn't look good to me anymore. Your picture in my mind has turned ugly. Don't think for a moment that I NEED you. I'm here because I want to be and can be gone as fast as I came..
One day you will be walking down the street and see a beautiful woman walking confidently in the other direction. It will take you a second to relize it's me, then it hits you. For the first time you think "maybe I was wrong".
not maybe but "I was wrong"
ReplyDeleteGood call..
ReplyDeleteI'll change it!