Sixth Grade Again

My last dream had three parts. First part I was with Turner, I was wondering how it would feel to be with him again. I was visiting him at a house, outside there was a small parking lot with cars. It was far away from where I had started, we had went up a huge hill. He was defensive with me but I ignored it. At night after I brushed my teeth, I went into his room, feelings like a little kid that didn't want to get in trouble but wanted to do something I'm not supposed to. I put my arm around him. We looked at eachother, it's been over a year and a half since we have seen eachother. It felt good, real and magical. His face glowed.

Second, I talked with Miss O'Donald my sixth grade teacher about coming to class. I came and it was all the same charecters. We went through exercises in the books again and again. What page are we on? I thought to myself, I hate this way of learning, I need for independance. Then I rode home with my class mates. "you missed my house, go back". Then it started raining and all four of them wanted to come in but one of them I was mad at and tried to keep out.

Then michell tried to come in and use the bathroom, I didn't want her to come in either and I felt angry. I locked both doors. My aunt and uncle came and left because the door was shut. I girls umbrella got stuck in the door on her way out. It was clear and red with a yellow handle.

Selfish

don't lie

when we need to park our bikes, you look for one spot.
when your thirsty, you look for one glass.
when your upset, you want to feel better.
when I'm upset... you want to be right.

selfish...

Learning Fast

Amazing... I was getting married. A typical girl dream EXCEPT it's not typical for me and it wasn't about a man. It was about me, the celebration was for me, the feeling involved in the dream were... I had gotten everything I wanted. My friends were there, I was wearing a white dress but there was no man. It occurred to me for a second that I was far away from the man so the wedding didn't make sense but I was happy so I kept moving on.

Blank..

Then I was in a carriage and I was telling Aydin about my wedding.. Explaining everything. We are on our way to a graveyard where the celebration will continue.

Blank

I'm in the water splashing around. Then I'm off to the Ceremony. They fly me to the side of a cliff. My cousins are all waiting on ropes, waiting to climb up the cliff to the other side. It's going to be a huge beautiful ceremony and everyone is waiting for me on the other side...

Blank

I need to fix my make-up but someone is in the bathroom so I'm very late...

Blank

The man was there. He was saying nasty things to me. I threw a spoon at him. I stayed calm and threw another. Then I told him "every time you say something nasty to me your getting a spoon!"

The 3rd House Ghost- Trapped

This is my third or forth dream about a ghost in a house. I feel that I must acknowledge there meaning before they will stop. This time I didn't act as scared as in the other dreams. I confronted the ghost.

I was going into the bathroom of a big white house. I walked back and forth between the bedroom and the bathroom collecting some things. I noticed the doors had a force behind them. When I would touch them I could feel that someone was trying to push them closed. This time I played back. I pushed back fighting the force.. Then weakened my effort to make it seem like I the door was going to shut before fighting back with all my effort again in a playful way.
I finally went into the shower and the door shut. The shower was on running hot water and the steam was filling the room. I was burning and couldn't breath. I couldn't open the door this time.

The people out side the room all went into a panic because there was some kind of fire or steam that was taking over the house and I was trapped in the bathroom on the top floor. It was the old bathroom that I photographed in Colorado.

I also dreamt of David. We were sitting at a dinner table and he was giving me advice. Then I dreamt of Km. That I had flew home without notice and surprised him. I ran up to him and we hugged.

I feel like this apt has become my trap. I feel like the ghost represents all the things from my past that won't let me be happy here. Then there are the dreams about the murderer who I recently found out is Aydin. Representing what... My fear of him hurting me..
David represents reason and approaching things without any emotion. Km represents my desire to leave or escape to somewhere I feel safe and accepted.

This is my third time trying to live with a man. The first time I ever tried. I had reoccurring dreams that I was drowning, running out of air or couldn't breath. I was always just below the surface of the water but I couldn't reach the top...

When I woke up this morning I remembered how I used to make myself a fruit smoothie every Saturday morning at my apt in New York. When I lived on my own, when I only had to consider what I like when I prepared food.

Another Killer

Last night I dreamt of another killer. He was getting keys to people's apt. I was running down the street in my underwear. I go home but don't feel safe. I sleep in the closet, then I sleep in a tent. I'm running away when I find a dumpster with all the apt keys in it and one dead body. I'm in a tent hiding with a guy from highschool. I feel pressure on my back from outside the tent, someone is there and I think it's the killer. The pressure turns sharp and I have the thought that it may be a knife. I open the tent and it's Aydin, he wants to know what I'm doing there with that man.
I'm starting to think these killer dreams are about living with someone, living with Aydin.

What to Believe

This dream went on all night, I woke up fell back asleep and kept dreaming this crazy dream. There was this guy. He was good looking tall and perhaps based on that acter that was against batman in the last movie. He was evil and kept killing people, we were in this ambandon parking lot, so long abadon that grass had begun to grow. He kept killing people, everyone. He killed me, he shot me, the bullet hit but then instead of pain I felt a sence of freedom like the bullet opened my heart and the fear I had left. Then he shot me again and I felt the same. I didn't die but then was traveling with him, seeing what he did. I because close to him and began to trust him. We had a love afair. But I never knew if he would still try to kill me.

Then I switched charecter and I was inside the killer. The woman that used to be me had turned and plotted to trap me. Many people were after me and I was fighting back. I stabbed a doctor, I had to get out of the building I was in. Everytime I saw an object I threw it at someone. I threw more knifes, some hit people some didn't. A man picked up one of the knifes I missed with and threw if back at me. I turned to run and it hit me in the back and stuck, then another. I had two knifes in my back and I was trying not to lay down as not to push them in deeper. I collapsed onto the floor. Someone came over to me, touched my head. I then relized the knifes were in the back of my head and I it ended.

Ignored

I had a dream my brother died.. I walked around with his image standing in front of me, crying and trying to explain the tragedy.

Then I was in a strange house with many rooms. One room Sean was sleading down a hill in a boat with one of my ex-boyfriends. I went to another room with cold feet. My slippers were there but when I went to put them on they started moving. I followed my stepping slippers out of the room and down the stairs. Through out the rest of the dream this leading "ghost" energy forced me to different places. I was screaming for help, my family and friends were around me but not responding.

Yesterday AGAIN! My Favorite reoccuring dream, why is there always a BUS!?! Aydin was riding it with me this time. We were playing on the big bus with lots of room.